Some H+ers would argue that much unfairness in social life is due to our inherited, primitive, mental functions that bring out the nastiest in human nature. Once our primate brain is cognitively enhanced and ‘civilized’, and society gets rid of inflexible laws, then our emotional narrowness and rigidity could well give way to openness and flow. Destructive or inhibited personality traits, such as the ‘vicious’, the ‘anal’ and the ‘mean’, may become something we only read about in old novels.

This may well be so. However, at this stage of our evolution, in addition to supporting scientific breakthroughs, we also need to reflect on what it is exactly that makes us happy or unhappy, what would give us a feeling of fulfilment or emotional contentment, what we really desire and what is stopping us from having it. Awareness of these issues is essential for channelling the scientific developments in personally meaningful ways.

As I see it, happiness depends on having access to resources that will enable you to:

Find a niche or collectivity that gives you a sense of belonging and acceptance (for some, this could be a family situation, for others a community of peers): this is the space where you don’t have to prove yourself, where you feel safe and supported, and where you can explore and experiment without having to bear the consequences of your actions (in other words, a forgiving space).

Have the opportunity to change the way society has constructed you, and the expectations that go with that construction, if it does not allow you to experience life in a meaningful way. As things stand, our social construction, or the role in which we are cast, is based on the primitive standards of age, gender, and physical appearance. Unfortunately these standards often contradict our desires and wishes, crying out for radical changes both in technical control over forms of embodiment and in attitudes towards it.

Find and maintain a balance between your practical, task-oriented, rational aspects and your visionary, imaginative, non-rational side. Emphasizing the former at the expense of the latter creates a subservient, limited personality, condemned to never see the forest for the trees. Emphasizing the latter at the expense of the former creates an escapist dreamer, who can never take control over, and realize, what s/he values. Emphasizing either at the expense of the other cannot but bring some form of unhappiness.

All these points assume some form of interrelating and co-existing with others – peers, partners and audience. Happiness, therefore, is linked with the potential for intimacy and conviviality. Pure physical and mental completeness are not enough – we need others to share and appreciate our intentions and desires. Without this recognition by others, the situation would be analogous to a party where the food is lovely, the music magnificent, and the settings stunning, but the guests are autistic.

Such reasons make the development of (for lack of a better term) ‘empathy’ vital. And by this I do not mean idle pity for others’ disadvantages, nor Christian ‘love’, nor self-sacrificing compassion – all of which are based on a glorification of negative emotions, on a lack of respect for others’ integrity or on self-denial. What I do mean is the ability to recognize and identify with different possibilities of existence, even if these possibilities do not represent one’s own preferences and values – the ability to step into and act out different characters without distorting or judging them, to feel with someone rather than to extend sympathy from a point of superiority.

One reason is subjective: above all else, one must empathize with oneself. if we become able to detach our consciousness, personality and/or memory from our body and transfer it to any physical form we want, we really need the ability to understand what it is we are detaching and what it is we are taking on. In many ways, much of what we call our personality, for example, is a set of habits that evolved in direct relation to the body we occupy. Changing our body would not be like changing shoes; it would also entail letting go of something that we had always considered so intrinsic to our identity that we could not see it as 'something else’. How must we behave and how must we feel to embody the new role that we have selected, so that we really change and not just repeat old patterns?

The other reason is more objective: agents of transformation (such as doctors, teachers, and anyone acting as mediator between an individual and his/her desired state of being) need to be able to accurately assess needs, understand wishes and desires, and distinguish restrictions. In fact, they need to be able to see things as they are (not as they should be according to some external standard). Intelligence is, of course, vital. However, they also need a high level of emotive competence that would allow them to overcome a judgmental and prejudiced attitude and a fear of difference, so that they can help, and not hinder, the individual's transformation.

For example, even with unlimited funds and the desire to transform their appearance, many people would still hesitate to undergo plastic surgery. The relationship between surgeon-patient carries a great deal of trust: will the surgeon understand you enough to take you where you want to go? Hell, it’s hard enough finding a hairdresser who understands what needs to be done to create your desired image – and how much insight and technical expertise is involved in that?

For these reasons, empathy is necessary for both parties of an interaction. One must be open to picking the emotional signals that the other intends to transmit, and the other must transmit these emotional signals as accurately as possible so as not to mislead or confuse. Neither task is easy.

So how can we develop empathy?

Empathy is a function of the imagination and the emotions working together harmoniously, while judgement, ethics and rationality are put on hold. It arises when the distance between ‘self’ and ‘other’ decreases, and the balance between the cognitive and the emotive aspects of the self is foregrounded. Anything that enhances this would help. Actors need strong empathy to act out different roles, so training in acting is an excellent way to develop empathic ability. After all, you can play, believably, the role of a warrior or a business executive without being, in your actual life, a warrior or a business executive. And, who knows, after playing some roles truly empathically, you may also find who you really want to be!

The point is that empathy encompasses the whole self, not just the mind or the body. The integration that it entails helps to overcome the limitations of representational systems such as language that can so easily lead to misunderstanding. Empathy is linked with happiness because both emerge from the social nature of the human being, which makes physical contact and the sharing of feelings so meaningful.

I end this essay with an aphorism by that great student of human existence, Søren Kierkegaard (from Either/Or, Part I), which summarizes my point clearly:

'Something marvelous has happened to me. I was transported to the seventh heaven. There sat all the gods assembled. As a special dispensation, I was granted the favor of making a wish. "What do you want?" asked Mercury. For a moment I was bewildered; then I addressed the gods, saying: My esteemed contemporaries, I choose one thing - that I may always have the laughter on my side. Not one of the gods said a word; instead all of them began to laugh. From that I concluded that my wish was granted and decided that the gods knew how to express themselves with good taste, for it would indeed have been inappropriate to reply solemnly: It is granted to you.'